Showing posts with label depression. Show all posts
Showing posts with label depression. Show all posts
Friday, October 11, 2019
Friday, October 19, 2012
No, Dude Working at Vitamin Store...
Earlier this week I was shopping in a local franchise of a nationwide vitamin store chain, and the saleswoman there asked me about my tee shirt. I was wearing a "Team Diabetes" shirt from a marathon several years ago.
The vitamin store woman told me that her mother was a type 1 diabetic "Red Strider" and that they were going to do the Step Out Walk to Stop Diabetes together in Griffith Park on October 27th.
We had a nice talk about diabetes-related events. I told her I couldn't do the event in Griffith Park in LA because I was planning to go to the TCOYD Conference and Health Expo in San Diego. I told her about Insulindependence and some of the events I've been involved in with that organization.
So then the guy at the cash register said, "You know another web site you should check out is ..."
And he helpfully told me about a raw food diet web site, and assured me that it was helpful to many diabetics.
I started to explain that I was type 1, and he said he knew about type 1 and type 2 and the difference. He didn't seem totally ignorant. But as I tried to tell him that diet can only do so much, he would agree, then start telling me how good this raw food diet is.
So I started to tell him about this guy from Phoenix, a type 1 diabetic who earlier this year was convinced that a spiritual healer could cure him with a drastically modified diet, herbal detox, reducing his insulin...
While I told this story, the vitamin store dude kept saying, "Yeah!" "Uh huh." like it all made sense and sounded right to him.
I knew he wasn't getting the point of the story, but the look of shock on his face was so profound it shocked me when I finally said, "... then he died."
"He died?!"
"Yeah, he died."
Yes, vitamin store dude, he died. Yes, this is serious.
No, I can't cure myself by eating raw food.
I think the saleswoman smiled. She may have tried to have a talk about diabetes with this guy before.
.
The vitamin store woman told me that her mother was a type 1 diabetic "Red Strider" and that they were going to do the Step Out Walk to Stop Diabetes together in Griffith Park on October 27th.
We had a nice talk about diabetes-related events. I told her I couldn't do the event in Griffith Park in LA because I was planning to go to the TCOYD Conference and Health Expo in San Diego. I told her about Insulindependence and some of the events I've been involved in with that organization.
So then the guy at the cash register said, "You know another web site you should check out is ..."
And he helpfully told me about a raw food diet web site, and assured me that it was helpful to many diabetics.
I started to explain that I was type 1, and he said he knew about type 1 and type 2 and the difference. He didn't seem totally ignorant. But as I tried to tell him that diet can only do so much, he would agree, then start telling me how good this raw food diet is.
So I started to tell him about this guy from Phoenix, a type 1 diabetic who earlier this year was convinced that a spiritual healer could cure him with a drastically modified diet, herbal detox, reducing his insulin...
While I told this story, the vitamin store dude kept saying, "Yeah!" "Uh huh." like it all made sense and sounded right to him.
I knew he wasn't getting the point of the story, but the look of shock on his face was so profound it shocked me when I finally said, "... then he died."
"He died?!"
"Yeah, he died."
Yes, vitamin store dude, he died. Yes, this is serious.
No, I can't cure myself by eating raw food.
I think the saleswoman smiled. She may have tried to have a talk about diabetes with this guy before.
.
Monday, May 7, 2012
I'm back
Hello. I'm back, at least for one blog post.
I have moved from Chandler, AZ to Simi Valley, CA. Simi Valley is hills and trails, awesome running territory.
I'm totally out of shape, but I did this run last Saturday.
What else is new? There's a new No Sugar Added Poetry Book coming out from the Diabetes Hands Foundation, and it looks like I'll have a couple of poems in it, both about death and diabetes. Inspiring, I know.
Here are a couple of other things I wrote recently, after poetry was collected for the book.
Blue Candles
I thought about buying blue candles
In symbolic support for the dead
But I would hope never to light one
That they'd melt in a drawer instead.
my eyes
I hate what you see in my eyes
I know you only know because you love me
Please, when I come around
I mean me
not the me with barren, hungry blood
not the angry, resentful me
I hate that you see it in my eyes
before I know myself
I hate that you learned to notice
please when I come around
forgive me.
If someone can get grouchy
missing a meal
what happens when the brain is starving?
I know, because I've felt it
You know, because you've seen it
Please forgive me
I hate what you see in my eyes
That's all for today. I have at least a couple other blog posts half-written, but you know how it goes with this.
.
I have moved from Chandler, AZ to Simi Valley, CA. Simi Valley is hills and trails, awesome running territory.
I'm totally out of shape, but I did this run last Saturday.
What else is new? There's a new No Sugar Added Poetry Book coming out from the Diabetes Hands Foundation, and it looks like I'll have a couple of poems in it, both about death and diabetes. Inspiring, I know.
Here are a couple of other things I wrote recently, after poetry was collected for the book.
Blue Candles
I thought about buying blue candles
In symbolic support for the dead
But I would hope never to light one
That they'd melt in a drawer instead.
my eyes
I hate what you see in my eyes
I know you only know because you love me
Please, when I come around
I mean me
not the me with barren, hungry blood
not the angry, resentful me
I hate that you see it in my eyes
before I know myself
I hate that you learned to notice
please when I come around
forgive me.
If someone can get grouchy
missing a meal
what happens when the brain is starving?
I know, because I've felt it
You know, because you've seen it
Please forgive me
I hate what you see in my eyes
That's all for today. I have at least a couple other blog posts half-written, but you know how it goes with this.
.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
An Inconvenient Truth
I went to see my endocrinologist last week, and we looked at some unfortunate patterns in my blood sugars. I explained that my basal rates were almost certainly too low since my activity has decreased so much from where it has been in the past. She agreed, and made some suggestions about adjusting the basals upward incrementally. There might be no need to go through basal testing while fasting if I already know I need to increase the basal rates. Later I could fine tune it if necessary.
So I was listening to this and nodding my head, but meanwhile, inside, I'm thinking, "NO! It's not my basal rate that's wrong! It's my body! I need to get more exercise, not compensate for not exercising!"
So it's been a week, and my basal rates are still too low, as I knew they were before I even went to see the endo, but I'm reluctant to make the change. It's like conceding that I'm lazy.
Maybe a century ride down in Tucson on Saturday will kickstart me out of this funk. Maybe.
So I was listening to this and nodding my head, but meanwhile, inside, I'm thinking, "NO! It's not my basal rate that's wrong! It's my body! I need to get more exercise, not compensate for not exercising!"
So it's been a week, and my basal rates are still too low, as I knew they were before I even went to see the endo, but I'm reluctant to make the change. It's like conceding that I'm lazy.
Maybe a century ride down in Tucson on Saturday will kickstart me out of this funk. Maybe.
Monday, November 8, 2010
The Cure
The Cure
For years they prayed for the day,
the day they could stop
bleeding him for blood sugars.
staring at his food,
counting the carbohydrates,
insulin on board...
They wished they could forget it all,
all of the knowledge and lore,
the glycemic index,
site sensitivity,
medical adhesives,
long-term complications...
... as if it weren't all complicated.
They wanted to stop worrying
about the impact of joyful play
on blood sugar balance.
So they wished for the day,
the day they could get rid of it all...
boxes of test strips,
the sharp things, needles, lancets, syringes,
the technological marvels...
meters, pumps, sensors,
the tools of replacing beta cells
and mimicking
the way the body is supposed to work,
the insulin
would all finally be stacked up in a big pile,
packed up to be sent away.
They wished and prayed the day would come,
But diabetes left in the night,
And with it took their son.
When I first posted this on Tu Diabetes in the Poetry Club, I apologized and wrote, "Why did I write this? I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't have. But here it is."
I'm sorry to be so negative sometimes. I hope that this blog is positive often enough to make up for it. It's sad that when I try to be profound, I'm often profoundly depressing instead of profoundly uplifting or inspiring.
The whole picture is bound to have some dark as well as light, though, when you're trying to show what it's like to live with type 1 diabetes.
So what made me write this?
I've certainly heard of a lot of diabetic children dying, and it's hard not to try to imagine how that must be for parents. And I heard a little bit of what it's like. And right after that, I read about someone else imagining what it would be like to finally have a cure.
The two ideas swam around in my head for a while, then collided. And the above poem is the wreck.
Here's another poem, a Haiku.
The Diagnosis
Your food is poison
But there is an antidote
It is poison too
For more positive feelings, watch this video, and help provide insulin to kids in need:
The BiG Blue Test.
November is National Diabetes Month, and November 14 is World Diabetes Day.
.
For years they prayed for the day,
the day they could stop
bleeding him for blood sugars.
staring at his food,
counting the carbohydrates,
insulin on board...
They wished they could forget it all,
all of the knowledge and lore,
the glycemic index,
site sensitivity,
medical adhesives,
long-term complications...
... as if it weren't all complicated.
They wanted to stop worrying
about the impact of joyful play
on blood sugar balance.
So they wished for the day,
the day they could get rid of it all...
boxes of test strips,
the sharp things, needles, lancets, syringes,
the technological marvels...
meters, pumps, sensors,
the tools of replacing beta cells
and mimicking
the way the body is supposed to work,
the insulin
would all finally be stacked up in a big pile,
packed up to be sent away.
They wished and prayed the day would come,
But diabetes left in the night,
And with it took their son.
When I first posted this on Tu Diabetes in the Poetry Club, I apologized and wrote, "Why did I write this? I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't have. But here it is."
I'm sorry to be so negative sometimes. I hope that this blog is positive often enough to make up for it. It's sad that when I try to be profound, I'm often profoundly depressing instead of profoundly uplifting or inspiring.
The whole picture is bound to have some dark as well as light, though, when you're trying to show what it's like to live with type 1 diabetes.
So what made me write this?
I've certainly heard of a lot of diabetic children dying, and it's hard not to try to imagine how that must be for parents. And I heard a little bit of what it's like. And right after that, I read about someone else imagining what it would be like to finally have a cure.
The two ideas swam around in my head for a while, then collided. And the above poem is the wreck.
Here's another poem, a Haiku.
The Diagnosis
Your food is poison
But there is an antidote
It is poison too
For more positive feelings, watch this video, and help provide insulin to kids in need:
The BiG Blue Test.
November is National Diabetes Month, and November 14 is World Diabetes Day.
.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
More Poetry
The publication of the new No Sugar Added Poetry book from the Diabetes Hands Foundation has sent me back to the poetry and writing groups on TuDiabetes, and reading more diabetic poetry has, of course, inspired me to write some more. So here are a couple of things I've written in the past week:
Haiku-betes
Haiku-betes is one of the groups in the TuDiabetes social network. It is dedicated to diabetes-related Haiku.
I'm not sure if what follows, a set of three paragraphs, qualifies as Haiku or not.Whatever it is, I submit it for your amusement.
.
The Big D
Once a certain death
Diabetes is now
something a person can live with.
Once a certain death
of a boy I read about
reminded me
Diabetes isn't something a person can ignore
and live with.
Once a certain death
standing in the darkness by the bed
as I came sweating and trembling to awareness
reminded me my death
is something I live with.
Haiku-betes
Haiku-betes is one of the groups in the TuDiabetes social network. It is dedicated to diabetes-related Haiku.
Woke up wondering
What is my blood sugar now?
And so go the days
I'm not sure if what follows, a set of three paragraphs, qualifies as Haiku or not.Whatever it is, I submit it for your amusement.
Car radio plays
Song by Bernie and Elton
might be about me
And all this science
Just my job five days a week
I don't understand
I'm a rocket man
Not the man they think I am
Burnin' out his fuse
.
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